Dreams

I believe everyone has many dreams, ever since primary school. Doesn't matter how small or tiny it is, it's still a dream. There's no limit on dreaming, dream as high as you can, as big as you can, as impossible as you can, that's the best thing about dreaming. Limitless and boundless. My very real dreams mostly started during high school, which I start to be serious with my dreams and plan paths for those dreams. Not all dreams I achieve but at least, some of my dreams I’ve achieved. Also, there are other things that I achieve without my expectation. I perceive that’s another version of my dream that Allah replaced, a better achievement for myself. What suits me well, Allah knows everything. Through what I have experienced, I come up some rules for myself. If I have a dream, a new dream, what I should do about it.


These are my long-term dreams. Wow I really like to dream. So much to be achieved! Guess what? All of my dreams in the wishlist require a lot of penny and efforts. Seems like money becomes my top priority. Every cent is precious! (cry a han river)

So here based on my experiences, if you have a dream;
  1. Draw and plan your path towards your dream.
  2. Make some efforts, of course.
  3.  Achieve your dream in secrecy. Never tell anyone about your dreams unless it is something related to this particular person that you need him/her to know, well there’s no choice. Others may see your achievement but it is not compulsory for them to know how you went through everything in order to get what you have now.
  4. Pray to Allah, ask Him to help and guide you throughout your journey.
  5. Be patient.
  6. Expect less.

I think the sixth is the most paramount rule so that, you won’t be sad or regret later. Set boundaries on your expectation. You must know that IF you don’t achieve one of your dreams, believe that Allah has something better for you. Just another version of what you dream for but importantly, Allah will make you happy as long as you are patient with the obstacles on your journey to achieve your dream.

Let me tell you one of my experiences. I’ve this dream of being an engineer student after high school. I’d never change this dream since I enter the high school. Whenever friends, teachers or whoever asked me, “What do you want to be (in the future)?” or any-that-kind-of-question, I’ll confidently answer, “Engineer”. I keep telling people about ‘I want to pursue my studies in the engineering field’ till my friends know me with that kind of dream like “Oh, I know you want to be an engineer”. I don’t know how I can be that confident when I’m not that-pro-on-science-stream. Well at least, I love Physics aha. However, that doesn’t help much if I can’t perform well in Chemistry right? Plus people said, be confident with your dreams. Even if I can’t pursue my studies in engineering, I thought I’ll still be a science stream student. But, Allah’s plan is better. With intense decision and whatsoever I finally studied in Language course. At first I thought, I would never like this course but hell no, I LOVE TESL COURSE.

See? Even if I can’t have one of my dreams, Allah still gives me something better. I believe everything happened for a reason. He knows what’s best for me. So don’t stop dreaming along with some (maybe) helpful rules or tips on having a dream from me. May Allah be with you at every step you take, may Allah guides you in each decision you make :)


Peah

Assalamualaikum.

First and foremost, I would like to say sorry to those I replied with a very short text. I'm out of the mood as I just lost three kittens today. I don't even have a chance to name them. It is heartbreaking, I swear. Peah was giving birth to three kittens on 17th May, one dark grey and another two are white with black spots. They're so cute, I even wish that I will feed them milk when they reach one year old. I'm so excited to watch them growing up. 

Anak-anak kucing tu tak bernasib baik sebab lahir dengan uri masih tersambung kat badan diorang. Peah tak makan pun uri anak-anak dia. What's worse, Peah tak jilat pun anak-anak dia yang baru lahir tu. I think she is too young until she doesn't know what to do. Peah pernah dua kali je susukan anak dia, lepastu dia keluar dari tempat yang ada anak-anak dia. Dah cuba letak Peah balik tempat ada anak-anak dia tu tapi Peah taknak. Just imagine, those kittens must be so hungry :'( Teringat sekali Peah susukan anak dia, Peah gerak jauh sikit dari anak-anak dia. Anak-anak dia yang still tak buka mata tu tercari-cari mak dia, nak susu tapi anak-anak dia terjilat-jilat paws Peah. I'll cry whenever I remember about this (dah nangis dah pun). This morning, I found that one of the kittens, the dark grey one have died. I silently cried really hard, like a fool that morning because I'm afraid another two kittens will die too. I just don't know what to do except pray, hope that Allah will protect and save those kittens. 

Aku text kawan-kawan aku yang ada kucing, tanya macam mana nak tanggalkan uri anak kucing. I even googled, 'Cara tanggalkan uri anak kucing' 'Cara jaga anak kucing yang baru lahir'. Because I think, itu jelah benda yang aku mampu buat. Pagi tadi aku nak sangat tolong tanggalkan uri anak-anak kucing lagi dua ekor tu guna gunting but I'm not that strong to do that :'( Aku bukanlah berjiwa doktor yang boleh tengok atau buat benda-benda macam tu. I mean, I'm not that strong. Sebab kesian, tak sampai hati, geli satu hal. Aku ulang-alik keluar masuk rumah sebab nak check condition anak-anak kucing tu. But at last aku tertidur.

Unfortunately, I found the other two died in the evening. My mom buries the three kittens in our front yard. I couldn't feel more guilty than today. I feel so useless because I'm unable to help those kittens. I feel like I'm the one who let them being tortured as I do nothing about them. I don't put any efforts to save them. I should have fed them, I should have tried at least. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry that I couldn't do anything about it. Peah is so weak. Peah does nothing except stay away from her kittens and sit alone at one place for a long time like she can't accept the fact that she is having kittens. I'm not sure if Peah aware that she is giving birth. I afraid that Peah will die too because she is acting strangely since the day she was giving birth to that three kittens. She doesn't want to eat or even drink. 

"Kucing aku pun dulu macam tu. Dia bawa diri jauh-jauh before pergi." - Masz

Peah is a good cat. I miss those moments when she was being so playful, slept on the prayer rug, on my bed, eating whiskers and ask for more. She is so cute and clever. I don't want her to leave just like the three kittens. I'm sorry for being a bad cat keeper :'(

Study Week / Exam's Gap

Assalamualaikum.

After such dreadful weeks of assessments, I finally come to the end of the second semester and am really excited, yass. From one to another, I felt restless but, I'm grateful to have a great bond between this semester's classmates.

Thank you for such an amazing semester, Section 5 :')

Okay my final exam started on 7th May, will end on 17th May. Can't wait to go back to Johore. So what's going on during my study week or exam's gap? Jalan-jalan of course. I'm sorry, I just can't help myself from going out, hanging out with le roommates especially Atikah. Last minute study is a must for me. 

First, we've gone to one of the most childish place ever, the National Zoo of Malaysia! Sounds fascinating, right? Or no? Ok. I unconsciously decided to go there, I don't know why. Maybe because I want to see a real-life panda instead of google-panda. We went to the zoo on 3rd May, Sunday by public transport, LRT; Kelana Jaya line to Wangsa Maju station and then, take a taxi or Rapid KL bus (U34) from there. The admission fee is RM54 including Panda per person. The price is lower if Panda is excluded. Masa nak beli tiket, kitorang macam awakward la juga sebab tengok ramai parents bawa anak, aku dengan Tika act macam pergi zoo ni konon untuk assignment hm. First first tu control, lama-lama kau automatik macam budak-budak baru kenal gajah. What's more unbelievable is, Tika told me that day was the first time she saw the real stripes on a zebra. Kau rasa aku nak kesian ke nak ketawa sampai menangis dengar kawan sendiri cakap macam tu? Tulah pakai google tahu nak search muka Mario Maurer je kan? Lagi kesian bila dia masuk Butterfly Garden, dia punya desperate nak bergambar dengan rama-rama tu haih, "Weh make sure amik gambar aku dari aku masuk sampai keluar tempat (butterfly garden) ni tau". It was such a tiring day, I must say. Aku boleh cakap, hambar juga. Masa nak tengok panda tu pula, visitors kena dengar dulu speech apa tah daripada orang zoo tu and we're only allowed to see the two pandas for 20 minutes. 20 minit tu kira banyak kot sebab halah kandang panda tu kecik je pun. 



On 9th May, we went to the National Library, Malaysia konon untuk study but it only last for two hours. Aku ni kalau nak buat kerja-kerja bodoh atau buang masa, Tika je yang sanggup teman hahahaha. Just wanna say that studying at the library is a bad idea for me sebab kan, aku ni jenis yang buka buku pastu tidur. So the most suitable place for me to study is my very own bed. I can sleep anytime I want. Kalau lah kalau teringin nak pergi Perpustakaan Negara kan, boleh naik LRT turun stesen Titiwangsa dan kemudian naik teksi atau Rapid KL (B114). Dah acah-acah tension study, terus ajak Tika makan boat noodles. 

Then we had hop on hop off KL tour on 11th May. We started at the 11th stop, KL Sentral. This service will take you around the City for two and half hours without hopping off the bus. You may plan your journey. Boleh google pasal benda ni, ada 23 stops. The ticket price is RM12 for a student. Normal ticket price is RM19. Aku rasa berbaloi lah sebab boleh pusing KL dengan harga murah macam tu. Best memang best tapi panas tu pandai-pandai la tahan. At first, we are excited sebab jakun, last-last penat tahan terik and surrender duduk bawah bumbung. Mengantuk satu hal lagi. Dah habis tour bolehlah balik belajar ye for the next paper on 13th May. Bye :')